There is this fellow vet who flies a sign on SE Washington next to the 205 overpass. I usually give him a couple of bucks when I see him. Today I saw him but not at his normal spot, he was on the overpass and he was talking to this girl and as I drove by I saw she was on wrong side of the rail.

My friend looked at me and gave me the sign that she was going to jump.

I pulled over hit the flashers and came towards her. “LEAVE ME ALONE! GOD TOLD ME TO KILL MYSELF.”

While she was yelling at me my friend moved closer.

A woman pulled up with her window down. “Call 911″ I said, “tell them we have a suicide attempt in progress” and she put in the call as she drove off.

Now while she was yelling at my friend, and I got a couple of feet closer. She turned towards me and I said “God does not want you dead. If He wanted you dead he would not ruin someone elese’s life by having you jump in front of their car. He’d just make you stop breathing. Besides why would he let His Son die for your sins and promise you life and life in abundance. No it ain’t God you’ve been hearin’ kid its the Devil. He likes to make people THINK they’re hearing God when it’s really just him. His whole gig is to kill us all off.”

“I don’t believe in the Devil,” she said.

While I’m I talking, I am very slowly creeping forward and my buddy is doing the same, It has been almost 2 hours and no police, finally we figure we are close enough and we make our grab and pull her back over the rail and she is kickin’ and screaming and she is no small woman. Finally I just sit on her and pin her down annnnnnnnd then the cops show up. They put her in zip ties and then a ambulance shows up and she is loaded up and whisked away…………

The police took our statements but never told us what took so long for them to get there.But one of the paramedics told me she’s down this before and this is her way of getting some attention, he guessed.

Sigh….

So tell me, somebody, where is Iron man or Spiderman or Mr. Incredible, because I am getting too old for this stuff. My arms and back are aching something fierce.